On My Own
by LegallyWicked
Summary: Rachel is having conflicting emotions. To win the heart of the person she loves she may develop some hurtful habits and will she have to leave Glee forever? Finn/Rachel/Puck
1. Chapter 1

** Top 5 reasons why I will never get Finn:**

** 5. My nose is too. . . Jewish**

** 4. I'm not as thin as Quinn (pre baby circa)**

** 3. I'm not as popular as Quinn**

** 2. He is having a daughter**

** And the number one reason why I will never get Finn:**

**He is in love with Quinn.**

Ever since I can remember I had dreamed of being a big star and ever since I can remember I had a surefire plan of getting there. My plan had been put into motion at an early age: dance and singing lessons, beauty pageants, the works. Anyone who came in contact with me as a child could tell I was destined for greatness. But when I reached middle school it all changed, my amazing singing ability was shoved aside by people like Quinn Fabray and by the time I reached high school my talent was completely forgotten. That is, until Glee came along, I was (naturally) beckoned to the spotlight. My plan was still going.

Until, that is, a certain Finn Hudson had intercepted it. Nowhere in my perfectly fabricated plan had I foreseen falling hopelessly in love with someone who did not reciprocate the feeling, not unless it was scripted, of course. And yet here I was watching the man of my dreams kissing his very pregnant girlfriend. It was official, I had slowly drifted into hopelessness. I had become a thing that I most loathed, vulnerable. I was weak.

Do you want to know what happens to people who are weak? They certainly do not end up being famous. No. At the best they end up as assistants _to_ famous people. And I, Rachel Berry, would rather die than be anyones lapdog. I don't take orders very well, you see.

Furthermore, I deserve to be with someone who loves me, cherishes me, and fulfills every one of my high-maintenance wishes, _not_ someone who kisses me one week and knocks up his girlfriend the next. And yet, here I am.

What is wrong with me? I deserve better than to be waiting around for someone who may never come. I'm Rachel Berry, Gosh darn it! And I will not stand for this. Finn made his choice, now it is time to make mine.

**-_-GleE--_gLEe__-GLeE**

**So what do you think? I know it is short but it is only a preface! I decided to start each chapter with a list since it is something Rachel would do, lists, organization and what not. So be expecting those from now on. Umm. . . let's see. . . please review? Another thing you should expect is each chapter being named after a song from a famous musical or a line from a song from a famous musical.**

** Adios Mien Herr!**

** Miriam **


	2. Chapter 2

** I know I haven't updated in FOREVER but here's chapter 1! Yay! Let me clear something up, this is after Sectionals but Rachel never found out about the whole Babygate thing!**

** Oh and by the way I do not own Glee ;)**

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**Top 5 ways to die a slow and painful death:**

**5. Having to date Jacob Ben Israel**

**4. Cats: The Musical**

** 3. Become a Cheerio**

**2. Three words: death by Slushie**

**And the number one way to die a slow and painful death:**

**Watch as the one you love kisses another**

School had become worse than ever. With two weeks left to the year the football players were extremely testy. Maybe it was the excessive amount of finals on their challenged brains, or maybe the fact that they would have to spend the next eight weeks doing … well... nothing (which was a clear view into their future) that made them so... hormonal. I (along with the rest of the glee club) could not turn a corner without having our underwear soaked .

Today, though, it seemed oddly quiet and slushie-free. I stood preparing myself for my first class (AP Math) at my locker. Most football players hold an unofficial practice in the morning, so I was in the clear. Grabbing my math book and giving my Broadway-themed inspirational calendar a glance to fuel my dwindling inspiration. The words, _You _are_ that girl _were printed under the _Wicked_ poster. Oh hey, Irony, I didn't see you there, behind all those slushie stains! No matter, nothing gets Rachel Berry down. _Nothing_.

I decide to make my way to the math wing while my clothes were still dry. Unfortunately, the math wing was the farthest from my locker. I walked at a fast pace and a managed to get near my math class. I was almost home free, but then I heard him.

"Hey Rach! Rachel! Wait up! "

I was so close!I could hear the thundering steps of a certain male behind me. I faltered. Could I make it to the door of my classroom? Surely, but if I did I was facing the possibility that he could run into the classroom after me, and God know how that would end. Well, that was a risk I was willing to take, I decided. I grasped at the handle, twisted the knob, but then I felt a hand on my shoulder. Oh, for all that is Barbra! I was so close!

"Hey Rach! I have been yelling at you! Didn't you hear? " Finn was out of breath but that didn't stop him from smiling that heart melting smile.

"Umm... no I... was listening to my iPod, sorry. What is it that you wanted?" I was now fully turned around and facing him.

"Oh! Yeah! I was wondering if you would-"

"Marry you?"

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Yeah, so anyway, I was wondering if you would come over and help me study... you know, for finals."

I couldn't believe it, Finn had asked me, not Quinn or Brittany (Don't laugh, he cheats off her in math) but me! Rachel Barbra Berry!

"But you know, if you can't that's okay too. You probably have to study for all your AP classes and I could always ask Brit-"

"No it's fine Finn! I'd be happy to help you. What time works for you?"

All the doubt slid off his face and he smiled, " What about today, at four?"

I whipped out my star covered agenda from book bag and checked four o'clock for today. _Ballet Club_.

"I can make it."

"That's great! You can ride home with me after glee, if you want," he offered, grinning down at me.

"Yeah, that would be great," I responded, making a mental note to call my dad to inform him.

He began to retreat," Well, see you then, I guess."

I watched as he backed down the hallway thinking I was the luckiest girl in the world. With a new found confidence I marched into my AP math class unknowing that someone had been watching the exchange and apparently they weren't too happy.

As they day dragged on my mind began to wonder and float off. Automatically my thoughts were sparked by the prospects of later today. I could see the future of Finn and I panned out, and I liked it. Today, while we studied Finn would realized how much he really loved me, then, we would date through high school, and we would break up momentarily so I could pursue my career, but then one day he would show up at opening night and beg for me back I would forgive him and we would then star as Mimi and Roger in RENT. Yes, that seemed perfect, or maybe I could be Maureen?

But then I began to dig deeper into the whole ordeal I was meet with a bump int the perfectly manicured road: Quinn Fabray. Huh, I had completely forgotten about that tiny detail. Wait, wasn't she _living_ with Finn at the moment? Which furthers the question, why didn't Finn ask her? And where did this sudden urge to do well in school come from?

The more I thought about the more my flax seed and banana smoothie heaved in my stomach. By third period I wasn't feeling well at all. The more I tried not to think about it, the more Finn Hudson's voice echoed in my head, his words bouncing off fiber on my body shaking everywhere.

_Yeah, so anyway, I was wondering if you would come over and help me study... you know, for finals._

_ Oh! Yeah! I was wondering if you would-_

_ Marry you?_

_ Hey Rach! Rachel! Wait up! Rachel! RACHEL!_

"Rachel? Rachel are you okay?" I was landed back to earth, in my third period class, being yelled at by my teacher, in an empty classroom. This actually happens more than you think.

Against my protest, I was sent to the nurse's office. This was an obvious setback, I would miss class, which was vital to my perfect attendance record.

"What's wrong, hun?" Nurse Hollenbach (who I doubted actually had a nursing degree) asked.

"I have a headache," I semi-lied.

"Oh well, go ahead and lie down on the cot over there," she instructed," while I check your file."

I numbly nodded. There was no getting out of this, I might as well lie down it would give me time to think. The cot smelled like vomit and it was as definitely not made of memory foam like my custom Swedish mattress, but it would do. I let out a groan, how could this day go from so good to so bad?

"What's wrong, Berry? Did someone finally tell you the truth about your clothes?" I glanced across the narrow isle between cots to see a person that I _definitely_ didn't want to see.

"Oh it's you, Noah. What are _you_ doing here?" He clearly didn't seem ill.

"I'm always here during fourth period," he smirked, "this is when I have math."

"It's a miracle you past fifth grade."

"It's my Jewish prowess."

"That seems to be your explanation for everything." I rolled my eyes, " Have you even _been _to a Synagogue?"

"Not yet, but when I turn eighteen, I am so there!"

A few seconds of silence trickled by as I analyzed Noah's response. Why was he never serious? This boy could be at a man's funeral and would probably hit on his widow if she was 'hot' enough.

"I saw you talking to Finnessa in the hall this morning," he informed me. I really didn't see where he was going with this.

"So?"

"So, don't you think Quinn will l go all hormonal on your sparkly ass if she found out?"

"Why should she?" I retorted. "Finn is my friend and he needs help improving academically and was seeking out help. Which, by the way you should as well, considering the lack of time you spend in a classroom. Anyway, she won't find out, unless you plan on telling her... do you?"

"Chill Berry, I am not a snitch. Why should I even care, anyway?" he feigned an eye roll.

"Say what you may_ Puckerman_, but I see how you look at Quinn. It's sickening really, that you don't have enough moral values to know that you should keep away from your best friends girlfriend, especially since she is pregnant," As the words fell from my mouth I could tell I had tapped a nerve.

"Oh! Don't you dare preach_ moral values _and all that crap to me," at this point he stood up,

"I know that you have the hots for Finn knowing that he has a pregnant girlfriend. You're throwing yourself at him like a Tiger Woods on an IHOP waitress. You think you're_ so_ much better than me with your 4.0 GPA, and your honor society,and your lack of a criminal record, but you and I are exactly the same on the inside," at this point he seemed angered as grabbed his backpack and stalked out the door, leaving me alone. Again.

* * *

Nurse Hollenbach had allowed me to stay in her office until lunch. I tried to convince her to let me stay longer or even send me home but she assured me I was fine. I finally relented and made my way to the cafeteria to pick up a Power bar and maybe a diet soda. I was really in no mood to put up with anyone at lunch, it be best to spend the hour in the library, I decided.

I didn't expect, though, to be ambushed in front of the cafeteria.

"Rachel! Hey, Rachel!" I hear from behind me. I briefly consider turning around and running but with my luck it wouldn't work. Instead I turn around with a smile plastered on my face.

"Hey guys," I great Artie, Tina, Kurt and Mercedes.

"You weren't in math today, are you okay?" Tina voiced her concern, which is something I'm not used to.

"I wasn't feeling too well," I informed her, "I'm better now, though."

"Oh, would you like to sit with us at lunch?" Tina inquires. I guess I could consider Tina a friend. She and I shared some classes and sometimes I helped her when she used to get heat for her stutter, I guess she is grateful. While Artie is okay with me I'm sure Kurt and Mercedes are close to hating me.

"I'd love to but," I can hear Kurt snort, " I am still a little weak and I think I should rest for Glee club, later. What about tomorrow?"

"Okay, sure," Tina looks a little disappointed, but everyone else looks a bit triumphant. I give a parting smile before I make my way to the vending machines. That's when I realize that I had an undiscovered talent: making people go away.

* * *

In the library I found a study carol in a secluded corner. While munching on my Power bar I catch up on the homework that I missed from the classes that I did not attend. I was too caught up in my Calculus that I did not notice two people taking a table near me, and apparently they didn't notice me either.

"When are you going to tell him?"

"I'm_ not_, how do you think he'll react to me telling him that _you_ are the baby's father!"

My head perked up at the sound of the familiar voice. _Quinn_. I couldn't believe what she was saying, if I could only find out _who_ she was talking to. I tried to peak over to catch a glimpse of the mystery guy, but he was block from my view by a bookcase . I try my best to move to get a better look but still go unnoticed. I lean in my chair and just when I am angled just right I lose my balance and fall with a thud. I pray Quinn doesn't see me.

"Someone's here," Quinn gasps, "get out of here, now!"

I can hear the shuffling of footsteps as they make their way hastily to the exit but not before I see who it is. _Puck_.

**So what did you think? I think you all should review! Please? Tell me what pairing you're rooting for. I'll be updating soon! I promise!**


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